August 22nd

Hey, I just realized that the world is supposed to end today! Boy, that'll be a load off. No need to mow the lawn if the earth is scorched, eh?

Just remember, I loved you all. Except the ones I didn't and I should have anyway. But no hard feeling, right? (You stupid nutjob.)

I remember reading a prayer that went something like "Oh Lord, please don't let me die in a way that will make a darkly humorous and ironic headline in the papers." This would just fit that to a tee, wouldn't it?

Now we'll NEVER learn how Pirates of the Caribbean turned out.

I wonder who's going to do it? I bet it'll be the Norwegian Grandmothers from Minnesota. They're always twitchy.